Bola Shonubi, Psychodynamic Psychotherapist, Couples Therapist & Clinical Supervisor, MSc, MBACP (Accred.)
“Sometimes the part of us that appears to be coping is also the part working hardest to conceal our distress.”
Location:
10 Harley Street
London W1G 9PF
or online
Fees: £225 (individual), £275 (Couples)
There are times when we may appear capable and successful on the outside while privately feeling anxious, overwhelmed, emotionally disconnected or uncertain about ourselves. We may recognise that the same difficulties keep appearing in our relationships or professional lives without fully understanding why.
I offer a confidential and thoughtful space in which you can speak openly about what is happening and begin to understand the experiences and patterns underlying your present difficulties.
I am a BACP-accredited psychodynamic psychotherapist and clinical supervisor. I have more than 20 years’ experience across counselling and psychotherapy and have completed over 10,000 clinical hours. My professional background includes four years working as an honorary psychotherapist within the NHS, where I worked with patients experiencing complex and longstanding psychological difficulties. I have also directed my independent practice, The Pinnah, for more than 11 years.
I work with adults from a wide range of backgrounds, including executives, senior professionals, entrepreneurs, creatives and people carrying significant levels of responsibility. Many of the people who come to me are accustomed to being the person others depend upon. They may be highly capable in their professional lives but find it harder to acknowledge vulnerability, ask for help or understand why achievement has not brought the sense of fulfilment or security they expected.
You do not, however, need to be in crisis—or hold a particular professional position—to benefit from psychotherapy. You may simply feel that something in your life or relationships is no longer working and wish to understand yourself more deeply.
How I Work
My approach is psychodynamic, relational and culturally informed. Psychodynamic psychotherapy considers how early relationships and experiences may continue to shape the ways we feel, relate and respond in the present.
Some of these influences operate outside our conscious awareness. They can appear through repeated relationship patterns, perfectionism, difficulty trusting others, fear of rejection, emotional withdrawal, overachievement or a persistent sense of not being good enough.
Rather than focusing only on managing symptoms, we will think together about what your distress may be communicating and why particular difficulties have developed. This does not mean remaining exclusively in the past. It means using an understanding of your history and inner world to make sense of your present life and create the possibility of lasting change.
The relationship between therapist and client is central to my work. I provide a consistent and non-judgemental setting in which difficult feelings can be approached at a pace that feels manageable. I will listen carefully, but I will also think with you and, where appropriate, gently draw attention to patterns that may be difficult to recognise alone.
As a Black British woman, I bring an informed sensitivity to the ways that race, culture, faith, belonging, difference and visibility can shape emotional life. These aspects of identity can be explored when they are meaningful to you, without assumptions being made about your experience. For clients who wish to include their Christian faith within therapy, I can work in a way that respects and makes space for this.
Areas I Work With
I work with clients experiencing:
- Anxiety and depression
- Complex trauma and the effects of childhood abuse or neglect
- Difficulties regulating emotions
- Relationship and attachment difficulties
- Shame, low self-worth and self-criticism
- Burnout and sustained professional pressure
- Perfectionism and overachievement
- Work-related stress and loss of confidence
- Identity, race, culture and belonging
- Bereavement and loss
- Self-harm and self-destructive patterns
- Disordered eating
- Personality and relational difficulties
- Major life transitions
- The emotional demands of leadership and responsibility
- A feeling of being stuck despite outward success
Couples Psychotherapy
I also work with couples experiencing recurring conflict, emotional distance, communication difficulties, loss of trust or significant changes within their relationship.
Couples often become caught in painful patterns in which each person’s attempts to protect themselves inadvertently intensify the other’s distress. Our work will help us understand what is happening beneath the immediate disagreement, including the expectations, fears and earlier relational experiences each partner brings to the relationship.
The purpose is not to assign blame or decide who is right. It is to create a space in which both partners can feel heard, recognise the cycle they have become caught in and begin to relate to one another with greater understanding and emotional honesty.
Working With Professionals and Leaders
Senior professionals and leaders can experience particular difficulties in finding a place where they can speak freely. Their position may require them to remain composed, make consequential decisions and contain the anxieties of others, even when they themselves are struggling.
Therapy provides a private space outside the organisation where professional identity does not have to obscure personal experience. Our work may explore the emotional pressures associated with leadership, perfectionism, responsibility, workplace relationships, professional visibility, imposter feelings or the fear that vulnerability will be interpreted as weakness.
My aim is not to diminish ambition or achievement. It is to help you understand the emotional forces that may be driving them, so that success does not have to come at the expense of your wellbeing, relationships or sense of self.
Beginning Therapy
Beginning psychotherapy can feel like a significant step, particularly if you are accustomed to managing difficulties privately. Our initial meeting gives us an opportunity to consider what has brought you to therapy, what you hope may change and whether my way of working feels right for you.
Individual sessions last 50 minutes and usually take place at the same time each week. Psychotherapy may be open-ended or time-limited, depending on your needs and what we agree together.
Sessions are available in person at 10 Harley Street and online for clients in the UK and internationally.
Memberships and Accreditations:
Contact us…
If you would like a brief call with the therapist, need a concession or would like to ask any questions before booking email us at info@harleystreet-practitioners.co.uk or call 020 8962 6247
